Missing the Ground

Missing the Ground - Part 1

A single strand of thought ran across Kaze's mind. Like most things, it started with an end. In front of him, what previously was a human, was lying peacefully. It reminded him of a white lily. One that has been pressed and was used as a bookmark.

He thought that he should feel guilty, or sad, or something. But all he could think about is the calm peaceful smile and the eyes partially covered with blood. And how it called out to him.

***

The door swung nicely, which was quite rare. Often it creaked ominously giving him the sense that he should leave and escape as far as possible. The clock in the far side of the wall was showing that he was gone for a mere hour. Somehow it seemed a lot longer and yet a lot shorter. It doesn't matter.

He opened the fridge door and grabbed a bread which he unceremoniously stuffed into the toaster. Grabbing the sausage he just bought, he chopped them up, as well as some onions and started frying them. That was his dinner. He'll be the first to admit that it wasn't the healthiest of meal, but then again he doesn't earn too much.

He sat down on the piles of pillows and turned on the computer, letting it boot up. He could hear the hum of the cooling fan, the gentle familiar sound lulls him into relaxation. The sound of the clock working can be heard dimly in the background.

Music filled the air as the foobar program ran. A notepad program was also running.

You are in that mood again

Kaze slightly smiled. He went and typed; I don't remember turning your web-cam on.

I figured out how to do it without human interface. You forget, you allowed me full access last week. So what happened this time?

He looked at the blinking cursor thinking about the answer. The program inside his computer is rather different than many of the rest of the OS. One could say that it is unique. A program, no more accurately a being, had evolved from a flow of data somewhere in the networks of billions of computers into something that one could say is sentient. Kaze did not know the details of its creation. He doubt he could understand it with his current knowledge about computers. Nor did he question its motive of existing in his particular desktop.

His finger started to move; When I was coming back from the...

The being took in his words quietly almost like a child listening to a story.

I still do not know the experience of this 'death.' I have came across it in many literature and other data.

Kaze opened a few other programs before replying; You have no personal experience of it. You're not human, so I doubt you can understand us fully, as I can't understand you fully.

Browsing through a forum he searched for post about suicides. Not many people jump off buildings for fun. With or without parachutes and bungee ropes attached to them. Soon his assumption was confirmed. Reading through suicide wills in various blogs, he found that many people are simply running away from the world. As trouble increases their ability to cope with it decreases up to the point where they could not handle it. It was normal. The being inside his computer was still not answering. It probably didn't have an answer.

There was a lot of discussions about 'it's not worth it anymore'. It always made him wonder. What's not worth it? Life? Being human? Suicide rate has been going up in the city. It's not like anyone he knows personally had died in the sudden increase of deaths. But then again he's weak. He won't be able to sit back.

Kaze went to bed with an attack of curiosity. It seems he's going to visit the suicide site tomorrow. The fan was still humming in the background. The web-cam moved.

***

The place was best described as an abondaned building. The grey walls that encompassed the rooms was almost crumbling. It was one of those buildings that was halted during its construction due to the cut back of funds created by the sudden bankruptcy.

The shutter sound was probably heard all the way on the other side of the building. He somewhat felt guilty about it, taking pictures of the silent foreboding building, but again this is the only way he's earning money. Writing up stories and digging up history of mysterious places. Apparantly he had a good sense of finding things.

When he reached the top of the building, he looked down to the ground, at the same ground where he saw the body landed yesterday. A sense of gravity suddenly seized him, almost causing him to jump down and join the rest of the bodies down in the graveyard.

It was morning, somewhere around eight o'clock. The moon can still be seen, though the gentle blue sky dims its brilliance. The view was acually quite stunning, and would probably be better in the night. He could see all the way to the edge of the city, without too mcuh problem. The people below him looks like dots on a graph, moving on the street.

He felt like he was on top of the world. Maybe he could fly. Maybe he should just try jumping off. See if he could miss the ground. It was just a step further.

Further into oblivion. Kaze blinked. What was that just then? That was not his thought. Not even close to it. Flying? From up here?

“Hmmm, it seems that it didn't work on you.”

The voice was sharp and clear, one of those voices that was filled with confidence. Kaze stood still, petrified with fear. He couldn't explain the feeling, it was almost as if ice tendrils was crawling up his body, but more, much much more.

“It seems that you are too anchored to reality for you to fly,” the voice paused before saying, “or perhaps you're already flying. Interesting. Tell me then, which is it?”

“What do you m-m-mean?” Kaze asked the unseen shadow.

“My question, dear boy, is that are you alive, or are you dead?”